Ideas Shared

6 Tips for Letting Go

1. Stick with the present

Instead of dwelling on the past or getting lost in the future

Be where you are. Let go of the distractions and anxiety and fear. When we see what is needed right now, in this moment, letting go is abundantly more ease-filled.

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the futre. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

2. Honor your emotions 

Instead of pretending your emotions don’t exist

Negative emotions – like sadness, anger, or frustration – often emerge when we want to let go of something that we’ve been holding for a long time. The impulse can be to run from them. Or ignore them. Anything to not feel them. But shutting our eyes to our feelings gives them strength. By honoring how we feel, by letting these emotions breath, they tend to disippate. And  we come back to neutral – a far more conducive place for letting go.

3. Make room for what you want

Instead of cramming what you want on top of everything else

Most of us have been trained to learn new things. A new concept, idea or practice. A new hobby or relationship. The learning is additive in nature. We expand our capacity and potential through this new thing. To do this we flex our intellectual learning, which is full of possibility and potential. The shadow side is that we keep adding and adding and this can lead to overwhelm and a feeling of constant distraction. Focus feels impossible. Sometimes we’ve got to let go of thing/s to make room for what we really want. We need to peel away the layers to find the core of what we want to highlight. It’s often already there, but is dimmed by the noise of what surrounds it. This kind of letting go requires us to flex our emotional muscles. It requires an emotional nimbleness and fitness that we can cultivate the same way we do with our bodies and our minds.

4. Adopt a new perspective

Instead of putting up blinders

Transformation is often prompted by a new way of seeing. The first step in any kind of change is seeing what is already there. In this way we can look to the possibility of there being another way. You may seek the support of a trusted friend or mentor for this new perspective. You may look to the wealth of content shared in writing or events or on podcasts. Or you may look inward through meditation or journaling. You may also seek the professional expertise of a counselor or coach or spiritual guide. Whatever way you look, know that a new perspective can often be the spark to guide you in the process of letting go.

5. Tap into compassion

Instead of holding to resentment or perfectionism

It’s one thing to honor the tough emotions – I am feeling ANGRY! – but it’s another thing to hold genuine compassion for those people who are driving us nuts. But there is magic in empathy. When we can really step into someone else’s shoes without any judgement, without any should’s or but’s, and hold compassion for their perspective, we are given a true gift; the gift of letting go to what has been, the gift of releasing our own narrow worldview. Compassion for others is the pathway to this kind of letting go. To get there, we also have to hold this same compassion for ourselves. We are all beautifully, imperfectly human. When we can appreciate and honor our foibles, a world of new opportunity emerges.

6. Count your blessings

Instead of counting your infractions

Gratitude. There is a reason it’s having a hey-day right now. When we give thanks, it’s very difficult – perhaps impossible – to hold on to negative energy. Through appreciation, through the counting of our blessings we bring ourselves back to the present and into a grounded space where letting go is easier. Ask yourself what you are thankful for. See what emerges. And then ask again and what else? What else? What else?

Resources and Links

• Sharon opens this podcast reading the poem “Magic Kingdom” by Philip Schultz, which can be found in his 2007 book Failure
• Design Yourself 57 Make Magic